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hi♥, thank you for stumbling upon my blog. this blog is dedicated to my daily records of my journey together with the wonderful people around me : be it joyful or saddening, easy or tough. my passion involves tea parties, baking, shopping, cheerleading, tumbling and reading a good book. i dislike egoistic people and bad weather. | ||
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champouf posted Injury on Thursday, January 17, 2013
Hi all, to those who doesn't know it yet, my right hand is now practically useless right now. Okayyy, maybe not exactly useless, but I literally can't use my right hand as of now :'( I fell off a stunt during Hall Cheer and the fingers on my right hand bent a freaking 90degrees the other way. I also did hear cracking sounds as I fell. I freaked out. I couldn't feel my right hand at all. I couldn't move my fingers. It was just so bad! I cried like mad. Thank goodness my senior immediately helped me ice my hand and massaged my fingers till I regained a bit of feeling. Mu hand was swollen by the end of training and my hand really looked like a balloon D: Even my fingers looked like Taiwanese sausage considering the fact that I have very skinny boney fingers.
After two days since the incident, I still can't move my fingers except for my index finger and thumb. My other fingers have no strength in them whatsoever and it is damn hard for me to even make a fist. I tried writing something, and my handwriting looked like a toddler's. I don't think I ever felt so useless in my life. There are a lot of things I can't do without my right hand, and I am beginning to appreciate the littlest things in life. Even typing this post is making me depressed because it hurts a lot. Still, I want to thank a few people for helping me. Thank you Yanheng, my cheer senior, for helping me ice my hand and giving me advice on how to take care of my fingers. Jasmine, my roomie, thank you for all the well wishes and prayers you have been showering me with :) She immediately called me the moment she heard I hurt myself. I feel so blessed! I want to thank my parents for really helping me out a lot. My mother helped me in the shower especially when I can't bathe/wash my hair properly. My dad for sending me to A&E to take an X-ray for my hand. And my dearest bf for accompanying me to the hospital. I do appreciate all the well wishes and concern he has showered me with too :) All in all, I have to say that I am blessed to be surrounded by amazing friends and family :) I also want to thank all my friends for constantly asking me how my hand is, I am truly touched by all your concern :) And I will be ending my post here because I can't type anymore :P Toodles~! Labels: food for thought, horrible experiences, ilovemyfamily, ramblings, wonderful people champouf posted Cruelty. on Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Abstract 01: I gazed upon her eyes: swollen with regret and heartaches. It was obvious to me, hell, it was obvious to everyone that she was unhappy. As to the reason why she was falling to pieces, nobody knew. But I had a hunch. Her relationship was the causality. It was inevitable I supposed: I guessed I had always felt that they were not meant to be. As she stared back at me, she sniffled back her tears. If she was feeling so unhappy, why not just break up with the guy she was with? There is simply no joy in continuing one's anguish. Such irony. I could not say much, I did not want to say much. I just continued staring at her unflattering state of pain.
I sighed, she sighed too.
I took a deep breath and proceeded to ask what the problem was. That was when all her problems poured out at one go: all the disappointments, all the times where she bottled up her emotions and feelings. It was one hell of a ride. I closed my eyes and just listened to her go on. All the time when she felt like giving up on the relationship, she could not, because she was not strong enough to go back out to the world alone and vulnerable. Every time she felt disappointed by her partner, she just shut it up to herself as she did not want people to know how broken down her relationship was. My voice of reason whispered into my ear, "How fucking stupid is she ..." What was the point of continuing if there is simply no more hope left in the relationship? There is no more trust, no more love, no more bond between the two.
Many would say that having a long term relationship would result in many problems, but I've always believed that if the relationship was meant to be, both parties will definitely want to change for the better; both parties will want to solve the problem no matter how long it took; both parties will come out of it stronger than before because that was how much both of them treasured the relationship. However, if both parties are unwilling to step forward to make the change; unwilling to solve the problem sincerely; unwilling to continue suffering under the hardships, then both parties should just fucking break up.
She continued pouring out her sorrows to me, and perhaps it was because of the fact that this was not the first time it had happened, I felt neutral to it all. I tried my best to feel the slightest bit of sympathy of her, but I could not. It seemed like I was immune to it all - the tears, the swollen cheeks, the cries of agony. It was all too familiar and somewhat annoying. I drew my head back, with my eyes still closed, but ears open to her ramblings and complaints. God, how I wished I could just draw a hole and jump into it, then maybe I can finally reside in a world without emotions. If only.
Time felt slow. I gazed upon her mouth. Her lips were moving, but they were not making any sound. I guessed even my consciousness was desperate to just get out of there. "Communication is the key ... " I heard her mumble - what a load of bullcrap. What good is communication when in real fact no action is done to settle the issue behind it all. Sure one could promise to change, to alter, to forgo past mistakes, but when no action was taken, communication is as good as bullcrap along the side of a road. I snapped. I shut her up. I told her to zip it. I just needed a moment of silence, and so did she. All I wanted for her was to get away from that guy. To stop all her sadness, to stop all her nonsense. She felt it was impossible to let go and as she told me that, she clenched onto pictures; pictures of her and her so called 'loved one'. I wanted to just pry those pictures off her fingers and ripped those into shreds. Fake. Those pictures were all fake. Those smiles, those laughs, those hugs - they were all staged and she should know it. Or I thought she did. The room grew dark. It was getting late, and I was getting weary. I looked at her again, hoping to be released of such torture of listening to her for hours. She looked back at me. She seemed to have gotten my message which I had been trying to tell her since the beginning. She nodded her head as I nodded mine. It was settled, I could finally go. She closed her eyes as I closed mine. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes again; sitting in an empty room, staring at my reflection in the mirror. All I saw was this girl, me, beaten down by her own emotions. Tears started running down her cheeks, and on mine. What irony. End of Abstract 01. Labels: food for thought, mythoughtsonpaper, ramblings champouf posted Disgrace on Saturday, September 1, 2012 This is a post of utmost importance and I don't think I will delay this post anymore.
I've always seen my parents as a beam of hope, figures of authority and definitely true role models. Since young, whatever they teach, advise and lecture me so, I will listen with grave importance. This of course does out to all parents all around the world. However after witnessing a rather shocking scene, I dare say that some parents are not the role-model-type. It happened just outside the Gong Cha shop near Tampines 1, and the first thing I heard was this man shouting really loudly at a taxi-driver. Of course this drew my attention and I turned around. It seemed there was this man with his wife and their son standing outside of the taxi and shouting at the taxi uncle who was just right beside them. I could not hear the conversation very clearly, because the man was screaming so loud it sounded like gibberish. The taxi uncle was an elderly around his 70s and he was struggling to reason out with the brute. Why I say brute? It was because he was behaving as such. He kept scolding vulgarities at the uncle, kept hitting the taxi unintentionally and his voice was getting louder and louder. The worst part was his own son was standing witness to such heinous acts. His son was around the age where he started absorbing and learning from his surroundings and seeing how his father acted, the son too was screaming loudly. I was just appalled at such a disturbing scene.. And the taxi uncle was just so fed up with reasoning out, he decided to let the matter go and boarded his taxi. The man however, did not let the matter rest, instead he continued shouting harsh words and kept banging the taxi like some mad, uneducated caveman. I thought that with a civilized society such as Singapore, we wouldn't have to witness such stupidity. Unfortunately, that was not the case. Or perhaps it was due to the fact, that the man, judging from his appearances, his mannerisms and usage of words, it was evident that he made a choice to turn to an uncouth, loudmouth person. It was just depressing to have to know that his son will grow up learning from such an unworthy father. It pains me to see that adults such as him, do not know how to solve problems like a civilized person: through the means of communicating nicely. His actions are somewhat like a barbaric monkey: screeching and hitting whatever in sight when frustrated. What a joke. I don't think it is because of me being brought up in a pampered environment that made me judged and look down on people such as him. I think anyone with a decent mind would think of that man as psychotic. Really, what a sad sight for mankind. Of course, I know I will bring up my child (if I have any) with a lot of discipline and teach him/her to be civilized and intelligent. However, teaching begins from a person's actions and I will justify that by being a good role-model to my child, regardless of the situation. Labels: disgrace, food for thought, grinds my gears, horrible experiences, ramblings, random complains HOME | OLDER ENTRIES ▶ | ||
