" jump for joy under the sunsets of tranquility ... "

as i read through my previous blog posts, i realised that most of the time, i'm blogging about mostly random stages of my life ... daily posts of my ins&outs of life. and basically my daily routine. and sometimes i find them so boring! is my life really such a bore? haha. who knows?

anyways something triggered my mind for what i'm sharing today.
last night, i had a heart-to-heart session with bryan. yes bryan. hahaha. many people may see him as a weird, emo kid on the block. but i see a different side of him ever since last night's talk. yes he may be sprouting his usual chants such as "fml" but i wonder if anybody has actually bothered to ask him as to why he's like this ...
he is indeed different from most people, but i feel that he actually sees the more realistic part of life. he is practical, logical, and because he sees the negative parts of certain aspects, he is able to sympathise with it and as such makes him sensitive towards most issues of life(:
so there!

back to my main topic, the both of us were just talking and talking until we got to the part of losing weight. yes losing weight!
i know how bryan feels and what he has to go through to lose weight because i was once really really fat! not saying that i'm skinny now ... but i lost 12kg up till today!(: i used to be a whooping 58kg! yes that's right! 58kg! like omg.
but now i'm still fighting to lose more weight because i can't really accept being at 46kg. so wish me luck!(: hahaha.

my secondary school friends are able to recount how .. horizontally challenged i was back then. its like no matter how much i exercise, i can't lose weight. and i got emo. really emo. like suicidal emo. well, i'm not afraid to share this on my blog, because i'm a different person now. and to be able to recover from that is something which i feel proud of myself. well, i'm still struggling to be more confident of myself, raising my self esteem etc etc etc. but last year, i was just HUGE. it was just ... woah.

whenever i go to meet people now ... be it, relatives, old schoolmates, they will keep saying that i've lost weight. it is a good feeling for people to recognise your efforts and such, and sometimes i feel more spurred on to lose more weight! and bryan feels the same too. he wants to hit 59kg and feel awesome before hitting 60kg and stablizing there. for me, i want to be 43kg. it's not an easy task i know, but i don't mind making the effort to go there. indeed, there will be struggles ... but i'm not the only one(: my mother has always been there encouraging me no matter how hard it is for her given her busy schedule. she has always been looking out for me and as such, i know i can't let her down.

cc is also there for me. he keeps saying that i'm already at the ideal weight/size .. but i just need to regain more self confidence and by doing so, i need to lose more weight! hahaha.

for the record, i don't skip lunch. i eat lunch! it's just that my lunch comes in small proportions. and i'm used to it. i hardly get gastric pain, even if i did, it lasts only for a few hours. i never take any sort of slimming pill because i don't trust those bullcrap. and i don't force myself to vomit after meals .. that's just gross and unslightly D:

the experience of how i lost weight is somewhat inspiring for me. for close to 1year, i did not touch macdonalds, kfc or any fastfood restaurants until my nutritionist told me that my weight has been stabilized well enough to have these little sinful treats once in a while. i also never touched chocolate or any other form of sweets etc.
i ate mostly porridge, or just a simple plate of vegetables&fish for my daily intake of protein/calcium. sometimes i would just eat fruits for lunch and wait till dinner before i eat a solid meal. and with the support of my mother, i was able to achieve it!(: i'm just so happy! hahaha.

as for now, i'm trying to lose another kg by the end of this month. but it's quite hard since it's harder to lose weight now that i'm closer to my ideal weight ... :( hahaha. i just hope to get promos done and over with so that i can quickly resume my cheer training/pt to lose those fats!! HAHAHA of course i have to burn more fats so that when i get muscles, i will not weigh heavier because muscles weigh heavier than fats ... T.T

alright, i'm heading off to study now!
hahaha. toodles~!
loving cheerleading and cc ttm{♥}

2 and a half more days to my topshop frenzy shopping spree!(: wait for me topshop!!